Spread Love...

New Blog!

2008-08-13T16:53:00.003-04:00

Check out www.aaronandabby.blogspot.com for wedding pictures and more frequent updates than I've been giving out around here. I plan to be a good blogger.

hair

2008-06-14T08:58:00.002-04:00

I got my hair cut. I always want them to take more out of the thickness of my hair then they actually do. But oh well. I don't really know what else to say. I used to be a witty prolific blogger, but all I have to write about right now would make me seem like a bridezilla. My to-do lists every day are way too long and I am tired all the time and I like never get to talk to Aaron. The end.

Nannying vs. Babysitting

2008-06-09T22:11:00.003-04:00

When I have a regular babysitting job in the summer, I say that I am "nannying." It doesn't mean that I live with the family, but that I take care of the kids while their mother works nearly full-time. I am incredibly blessed with a fabulous job this summer nannying for 4 little boys (G is 9, M is 8, L is "ALMOST 5!!!!!!!" and cutie H is 3). I would like to have fun things to tell you about, and these kids are funny, but I'm trying to come up with a delicate way to say this: They are a family full of boys and they are kind of obsessed with being boys. I am constantly saying "No, girls don't have those. You should only talk about that if there is something wrong with it and you're telling the doctor!"
One adorable thing they talk about is me getting married. The little ones always want to practice saying "Abby H" and the older ones drew pictures of me in a "get-married veil." They are precious when they ask if I am a mommy or when I am "getting" a baby. I say "No! Babies shouldn't start growing until after you get married!" Then they say "But you're getting married! You should start one soon. You would be a good mommy." I guess I think it means something special if kids I take care of think I would be a good mom. Or maybe it just means I remind them of their mom because I'm not afraid to be mean and give them time-outs.

Also, I am working on an online class. For some reason I expect it to just take care of itself and it doesn't!

Aaron is in Peru and I talked to him for 5 minutes last night after not hearing from him for a week and half. Might hear from him again in another 10 days. Might not. I respect the military, but I also REALLY hate it sometimes.

I have been talking about wanting to go to graduate school, and I think I still do. But I have also been watching lots of Martha Stewart On Demand shows and I feel like I would probably be okay without a masters degree as long as I always did a good job repotting my plants, creating delicious breakfast buffet spreads and arranging my sofa pillows in an aesthetically appealing manner. I feel horrible saying that. But maybe after a few years of rocking out my BA I will have a clearer idea of whether or not I want to work for something academic again. What the heck, it would just be a 2 year program. I could totally do that. But what if I was too busy stuyding to notice that my window planters fell into disrepair and the charming antique chairs in the dining room needed to be reupholstered in a lovely chartreuse satin damask?!?!

wow!

2008-05-31T10:23:00.002-04:00

I realize it has been a while since I wrote on here. I have done amazing things like graduate from college, move back home, go to Minnesotan Boundary Waters for a canoe and camping trip and started a nanny job for 4 cute and active little boys.

What I came here to say was that I've been in wedding-land too long and I know it, because I had a dream last night that Bed, Bath, and Beyond changed the layout of their online access to bridal registry.

At Last...

2008-05-09T08:00:00.008-04:00

My sisters said I need to post more and include pictures. I don't have a working camera right now, so here are some shots I got from Julie at my bridal shower in April: Cate came from Chicago!

Alisa came from NYC! She and Audree did a fabulous job.

The flowers and food were lovely.

I was showered with amazing gifts (this one is from Alisa).

artes liberales

2008-04-24T23:19:00.005-04:00

It is the end of my last semester at college.
Because I decided at the last minute to double-major, I'm doing 19 credits of hefty upper-level classes and still have an Old Testament class to take online over the summer.

Right now I am in the middle of finishing the following projects:

A 35-40 page thesis on the influence and theological implications of contemporary worship in the protestant church.

A 12 page research paper on Christian Ethics and Population Control. I think this one is my favorite. Best quote comes from Stephen Moore in the Washington Times. He said: "To help women and children in the developing world, the United States should be exporting capitalism, not condoms."

And an 8 page exegetical paper on Romans 7:7-12.

These are all due on Monday. I am mildly stressed, but not freaking out. I figure, I practically have a liberal arts education by this point, so I should DEFINITELY be able to whip these all out. If I can't get all these done, what was the point of the past four years, really?

check it OUT!

2008-04-19T22:39:00.002-04:00

check out my sister's post about my senior recital this weekend! It's all right HERE.

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth

2008-04-16T20:13:00.001-04:00

I found a you tube video of a 7 year old playing one of the little songs I'm doing in my senior piano degree recital on Saturday.

I have a heavy burden...

2008-04-15T09:22:00.003-04:00

I have been listening to Sara Groves' song "When The Saints" nonstop this semester. It makes me want to be done with college and do great things for God.

The song has a line that says "Lord, I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know," and it always makes me think of what a burden knowledge really is. As I come upon college graduation (that will be impeded if I do not stop blogging and practice/study-for-midterm/write-thesis), I'm thinking about what it means to be an educated Christian. Am I supposed to become more educated and engage the intellectual masses? What is the difference between being educated, being a Christian, and being an educated Christian?

When it comes down to it, I should be more like the "Pauls" and "Silases" of my Christian heritage than the "Aristotles" and "Lockes" and "Churchills" of my western heritage. But is there a middle ground? Where do these things intersect?

To be honest, I feel like all I learned at Hillsdale is that I don't know anything. Maybe that was the point.

say what you mean; mean what you say

2008-04-03T15:04:00.003-04:00

I see serious problems with the upcoming elections. Beside the fact that there are no strong pro-life presidential candidates up for office, I see a lot of misleading hype.
Barack Obama is running as a black man, but he's only part black and he can't bowl. Also, his middle name is the same as Saddam's last name and his last name is a lot like bin Laden's first name. So disconcerting.
Hillary is running as a woman, but I have my doubts about that.
McCain is running as a republican, but most people would say he barely counts.

when I grow up

2008-04-02T13:27:00.002-04:00

I am making a list of all the things I want to do when I grow up.
Today, I decided to add that I am going to do some serious studying to learn about the emergent/emerging church movements and where they are right or wrong about Christ and orthodox Christianity.

A Few Of My Favorite Things:

2008-03-28T00:21:00.007-04:00

Pink stargazer lily, you have convinced me to have a favorite flower. Please be in my wedding.

California, here we come.

Green leaves, I cannot get enough of you. Please decorate my apartment.

Puppy, we will get you as soon as we have kids old enough to take care of you:

and we might get you some little chickies to play with, too.

make a difference

2008-03-27T08:44:00.004-04:00

In 1920, Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger wrote: "The most merciful thing a large family can do for one of its infant members is to kill it." Things like this just make me sick. In comparison, Benjamin Franklin wrote: "He that raises a large family does, indeed, while he lives to observe them, stand a broader mark for sorrow; but then he stands a broader mark for pleasure too."

"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor . . . Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting." -Mother Teresa

thesis

2008-03-19T18:35:00.003-04:00

It is spring break. The stuff we ordered to make the wedding invitations isn't here yet. My mom is gone for a funeral in Milwaukee.

This morning I showered but am still in my PJ's. I have done lots of things half-way today. I'm ready to go to bed, but it might just be because my computer is telling me it's 2:43 am (!??). I need to practice a lot and do some hard-core thesis work.

Am I really almost done with college? I'm ready for a break, but I don't know if I'm ready to be done. I have no idea how to find a graduate school, but looking for one is a nice way to procrastinate. If I go to grad school, it will probably not be until Aaron is done, so I really don't NEED to be looking at this right now. It's not like I need to finish my thesis in order to even consider grad school or anything...

Meanwhile, Aaron is in California looking at 500 square foot apartments that cost more per month than I have in the bank right now. He says things like "well, we're going to have to be really organized with our stuff..." Anyone who knows me understands that this means I need to be really organized with my stuff. Because I will have more than him. I guess when you get married it's not like you can just close your door so any "disorganization" doesn't bother your roomates.

Has the sun even risen in Michigan during the past week? I think the weather in this state needs to celebrate the resurrection.

...here we come!

2008-03-16T21:40:00.002-04:00

We're going to California because we are just that AWESOME! Also, I guess I don't need any boots with fuuur now.

EMIL!

2008-02-27T00:29:00.003-05:00

I babysat for Emil and company yesterday, just like I did all last year.
Emil is really into the concepts of good and evil right now, esp. God and the Devil. I gathered this much, but since this family is Catholic and we haven't discussed every minutia of the important doctrines they are passing on to the children, I usually hesitate to say anything spiritual for fear of being accused of apostasy by the oldest. (It has happened before.)
Emil told me his lego robots were evil robots with more power than anything in the whole WORLD and they would shoot lasers at me. He instructed me to say "In the name of Jesus you have NO POWER HERE!!!" if I didn't want to get shot with a laser. I said it and the lego robots fell into a million pieces. I don't know if Emil could make it break into that many pieces. I wonder if it really worked. Maybe I was rebuking diabolical lego robots.
We played this over and over again. I was getting paid.
Does this make me an exorcist?

The Wide Blue Yonder

2008-02-19T12:44:00.006-05:00

Despite the busyness of school - recital (x2), thesis, senior comprehensive exams, presidency of my SAI chapter, wedding planning (I think I have looked at every picture on every part of theknot.com), registering for sweet wedding loot (target.com), being with my friends (doesn't happen very much), planning bridal showers for other people, etc., I am really excited about the future and the places we will be during the next few years. I still don't know exactly where these places will be, but I'm pretty sure they will be awesome. Some of the biggest possibilities are southern California and maybe Iowa. These are very different places, so I would need different life gear depending on my new home base. Here are the things I think I would probably need.

CALIFORNIA:

* designer sunglasses. I would probably buy knockoffs. I like to think that I'm cool, but I doubt I'm THAT cool. Also, I am mildly poor.
* more sun dresses, shorts, etc.
* sturdy flip-flops. Possibly even birkenstocks. I hear they also double as a more morally acceptable non-hormonal form of birth control.
* does it rain in California? I might need to get some faux-wellies (rainboots). Obviously, the mildly poor issue comes in again, hence the word 'faux'.

IOWA:
(Included are the other 49, just so you know where Iowa is. I didn't.)
* a warm dress coat for winter.
* a new vest. probably brown, black, or hunter green. with a hood and fur.
* faux-uggs. I am sick of my feet being cold.
* does it rain in Iowa? Again, possibility of needing some faux-wellies.

MYOB

2008-02-08T09:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I know I've been hearing about how American culture is anti-marriage (though with the prices of wedding stuff I think it is fair to say the economy is 100% pro-wedding), but I feel like I'm experiencing it now real.
Aaron and I are having a 7 month engagement. Of course, he thinks this is about 6 3/4 months too long. My mom said that Dad was the same way when they got married. But I digress.
I might decide this is too personal and delete it later, but this is my rant about marriage and babies!!
As I tell professors that I'm getting married in July, it is only the very devout Christians who look authentic as they say "Congratulations!" I think I've had two genuine well-wishers. The rest say "So SOON!?!?!" I explain that it would be silly to wait longer - what would I do, just sit home for another year and be away from him just to plan one day of my life? Why do they care?
Then, without fail, I get "authoritative" unsolicited advice, usually delivered in a stern manner: "You better not plan on having kids right away. You know that, right?" Yeah, we're not exactly desperate to have a honeymoon baby. But my favorite verse about any type of planning is Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." The gift of a child is a weighty blessing with potential to come to any married couple. I really think people shouldn't marry unless they are OK (in some small way) with the possibility of a baby at any time.
And anyway, besides it being none of anyone's business... so what if we were wanting to have a baby right away? Has the general outset of culture become so negative about children that advising young couples against parenthood is the status quo?

I want to be...

2008-02-06T23:31:00.001-05:00

Tonight I was thinking about how I pretty much am grown up now. I said something about "when we grow up" to Aaron after dinner, but really... we're graduating from college. We're getting married. Grown-ups do things like graduate from college and get married. Being a grown up is a big responsibility. So as I think about the baby grown up that I am and the grown up life ahead of me, these lyrics below are exactly the inspiration of my heart now.

""When the Saints" by Sara Groves
Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire
shut up in my bones and I cannot let it go

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind
it often overwhelms me
but when I think of all who've gone before and lived the faithful life
their courage compells me

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars

I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharohs court
I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord

I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad
I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul

I see the young missionary and the angry spear
I see his family returning with no trace of fear

I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights
I see the sisters standing by the dying man's side

I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door

I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road
I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

trading sorrows: a rant.

2008-01-23T14:29:00.000-05:00

I was initially going to write about how Heath Ledger's death means a lull in the stories about Britney S. losing custody of her kids. Then I realized what a sad thing it is for the media to urge celebration of such sorrows. Do we realize that Mr. Ledger's death means at least one child will grow up without a father? Do we consider that Britney's kids are likely to be ruined forever by this horrible excuse of parenting if there is not some significant intervention soon?
A female customer at Panera this summer told me I looked like Britney, but that I was much nicer because I looked like the kind of person who would buckle her children into their carseats, unlike the celeb mom in question. How sad that the average american can be all up-to-date on the saga of Britney Spears' poor children (I do feel bad for them, honestly!), but won't commit to opening their lives to foster children who are defenseless, and probably much worse off for the rest of their life than the babies Spears&Federline.
I know women who try to hide the fact that they were truly very concerned when the tabloids questioned the health of Nicole Richie's baby with a too-skinny mom.
I also know women who were shocked that their church was considering holding a gift shower for an unwed mom who chose to go through with her pregnancy and not murder her unborn baby. Why this dichotomy? Why is it OK to be (secretly) following the celeb news on the unwed pregnancy of a celebrity with a certain amount of joy (even if it was a sick, morbid curiosity) but also OK to boycott a church's support for the value of human life in any form?
Also, going off on a tangent here, don't get me started on so-called "pro-life" Christians who don't act on that by donating time or money to pro-life crisis pregnancy centers or considering fostering/adopting the children they say are intrinsically valuable with their pro-life rhetoric.

Our Christmas Picture

2008-01-08T15:49:00.000-05:00

If we were sending out a Christmas card to all of our friends announcing our recent engagement, this is the picture we would have used.

Season's Greetings!

2007-12-21T01:02:00.000-05:00

Just in case you forgot...

Isaiah 9:1-7
Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the Gentiles, by the way of the sea, along the Jordan. The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as men rejoice when dividing the plunder. For as in the day of Midian's defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor. Every warrior's boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire. For to us a child is born! to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.

Happy December!

2007-12-01T20:21:00.001-05:00

I really like Christmastime. I think the holidays are the best time of the year. Unfortunately, when one is a college student an annoyance known as "finals" encroaches upon the sacred season of advent and makes life stressful. I will be glad to not have finals ruining my life next Christmas.
A song I wrote was performed in the SAI Christmas Concert. My mom and Grandma came to see it! I was so glad they could come.
Last night a cozy group of us watched Home Alone to effectively kick off the Christmas season. And by cozy I mean we were all snuggled together under blankets because it was ~50F in the Outpost. Now I am "writing a paper" and getting ready for Coffeehouse. It is snowing/frozen-raining outside. It was cloudy today.
Basically, I want it to be always sunny during the day and not have any homework/projects/practicing to do EVER AGAIN.

Merry Christmas!

Surprise!

2007-11-03T09:34:00.000-04:00

Naomi was planning on visiting me this weekend for comfort, encouragement and fun. I've been anticipating this weekend like crazy. It has really helped me get through the week to know she was coming. So imagine my surprise when I went to meet her and Beth was there too! Beth drove the four hours from her school to surprise me and spend time with us. I could not be any more blessed. I seriously cried for joy when I realized she had driven four hours to see me. I'm glad they are both here!

Liberal Arts

2007-10-29T14:34:00.003-04:00

I am going to be very Classically snobbish and Liberal-Artsy here to say this: I thought I was Penelope, but maybe I am really Dido.

Fall Break

2007-10-14T14:42:00.000-04:00

Fall Break is coming oh-so-soon.
I am going to New York City in the Fall! It will be just like the beginning of You've Got Mail!!

Aaahh!!

2007-10-06T23:00:00.000-04:00

I have officially ended my days of shopping as an adolescent. This is not to say that I have ended my days of shopping, just that I am basically acting like a grown-up in this endeavor from now on.
I bought a suit. 2-piece - pants and a blazer. Gray. Pinstripes. Stretchy Camisole. Will be tailored just for me, by my awesome Grandma.
This whole purchase is permeated with ideas like "responsibility," "adulthood," "job interviews," and the like.

Lameness

2007-10-04T11:27:00.001-04:00

I am not very exciting anymore. I have lots of responsibilities and other grown-up junk to deal with.
My parents gave me a beautiful sapphire ring when I was in high school. Something happened to it and the band is weirdly torqued. I have to take it to a jeweler tomorrow. Hopefully it will not be expensive to fix.
I can't find my camera cord. I need to get one.
I also have to get the wireless software for my computer taken care of.
I think grown-up life is sounding quite complex.

The Birds and the Bees... and the Bats.

2007-09-11T22:27:00.000-04:00

This post may be too disturbing for any more sheltered or easily upset readers. I myself am quite disturbed by this topic, as evidenced by the rant I am now sharing with you.

I went to the Post Office to buy stamps the other day. This expedition is generally without excitement, except for the mild heart attack that any reasonable person has when they realize that stamps cost $.41 a piece nowadays. As I stood in line, I saw that there were lots of cute stamps - some Tiffany stained glass, pretty flowers, Marvel Comics, Disney characters... How could I decide which ones I wanted? I told the nice lady that I would like a sheet of 20 stamps and she pulled out what appears to be some sort of flowery stamp. I had been thinking I would go for the Tiffany stained glass stamps, but these looked colorful and cheerful so I wasn't about to complain. After I paid the unreasonable price of $8.20 for the sheet, I sat in the car and realized.... my stamps were not just flowers. The stamps were called "Pollination" and depicted flowers being pollinated by pollinating insects and animals. This is nasty enough when you think about the fact that it is basically floral and faunal reproduction, but I digress. A most disturbing moment dawned in my afternoon when I saw that these stamps had bats on them. Like the flying rodents who carry rabies. Gross.

I don't really know what to say concerning the horror I feel about sending cards and notes with bats on them. My first reaction was to assume that the letters might possibly carry rabies. I know all about rabid bats after watching an episode of HOUSE about that this summer.
Though I am appalled and shocked by this vulgar display of rabid animals, the USPS (apparently) is very excited about what these stamps represent for the general public. This quote is taken from a usps.com article here. These stamps, they say,
"consist of four images arranged in two alternate and interlocking patterns. The intricate design of these beautiful stamps emphasizes the ecological relationship between pollinators and plants and suggests the biodiversity necessary to ensure the viability of that relationship. "These stamps are a special way to honor the beauty that is in our midst each day," said Yverne Pat Moore, Postmaster, Washington, DC, U.S. Postal Service. "The animals featured on the stamps are beautiful ambassadors of nature.”

This is a picture of the stamps back in the day when you didn't have to choose between medicine to save your grandma's life and sending mail:

Vehicles, etc.

2007-08-07T22:17:00.000-04:00

So, earlier this summer I accidentally backed into my sister's car while it was sitting in the driveway. It was horrible, embarassing, and totally my fault. Today she was driving in my car to the body shop to pick up her car and got into a (not-her-fault) accident with the tire from a semi truck on the highway! I find this incredibly ironic, and it is a huge blessing that she and my mom were just fine.
Also, I have come up with the idea of running a homeschooler's coffee shop. It should probably be a co-op building and a coffee shop so that the homeschoolers will come to it. I was thinking the little "sleeves" that go on the cardboard cups should look like denim jumpers, and we could call the lids "headcoverings". We could celebrate 7-Day Creation week, Biblical names week, big van week and the entire month of February could be devoted to the ABC's of Christian Romance - A = Arranged Marriages, B = Betrothal, C = Courtship, D = Dating, E = Elopement, F = F.... f.... f....ornication. I am certain if I think about this long and hard enough I will be able to think of names for coffee drinks that would relate to this. Certainly the "descriptions" could read something like: Try our house mocha, a beautiful betrothal of fresh espresso, pure chocolate and steamed milk. Only homeschoolers would come, but I guess with their fifty million kids I might actually make money. We'll see....

Wearing Clothes (and other things necessary for civilized survival)

2007-06-15T14:11:00.000-04:00

I work at Panera. It is not a bad job by any means. My co-workers are very helpful and easy to get along with. I am very grateful to have the job and that I am getting so many hours. Things that could bug me in another circumstance aren't so irritating when I know I am only there for the summer, and I'm so grateful that the job is working out so well. I usually work from sometime in the afternoon until close. This means that I usually spend all day in my pajamas because I don't want to wear my yucky khaki pants and earth-tone polo shirt until I absolutely HAVE TO. On a (seemingly) completely unrelated topic, I've been to two weddings, and I'll go to two more before the month of June is through. As I sit here right now with messy hair, no make-up and glasses, wearing way-too-short blue pj shorts, Aaron's "Twig Man" shirt from swimming in High School and my cool new flipflops from Ann Taylor, I realized I've only worn nice clothes lately for weddings. Life is so complex.

Also, the girls in my family are doing weight watchers, which was cool for like a week and now feels like a drag because I want to keep eating the cookies and rice crispie treats that are left over from Beth's party, and so I have fallen in love with fat-free plain yogurt. It goes in everything. It is really good with a little granola-ey cereal to take away the "tartness" of the yogurt. Yogurt is so good for your body with its good bacteria and whatnot. It helps me get more calcium, which makes my nails long. I'm working on training my tastebuds and my appetite and beautifully sculpting my body with Pilates dvd's.

Today I let two of our kitties get in the house to play with me, and I had to get the phone. Then when I came back I couldn't find them. Oops. I found them at last and they are content in the garage.

A Random Assortment of Things

2007-06-13T09:15:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. We did some celebrating on Monday, since my dad was home most of the day -- we went to the beach for the whole day, which was GREAT. I got kind of burned, but I started my beach treasure collection of the "indian beads" and beach glass. I made strawberry shortcake for "dessert". On her real birthday, Bethany asked if she had a memorable birthday growing up. She said that their family had a little red bike that each of the five kids was supposed to learn to ride a bike on. Since they had to ride their bikes to school, the child got a new bike when it was time for the next youngest to learn. The "new bike" was actually a grown-up bike, since my Grandpa didn't want to waste money on medium-sized bikes. This worked OK for my uncle who is four years older than my mom. He was tall and in fourth grade when he got his grown-up bike. My mom is two years older than the next sibling, so she had a grown up bike in the second grade. She never got to sit on the seat -- it was too high. The family moved down to the lower peninsula just in time to avoid the problematic age spread of 18 months between my Aunts Rachel and Sarah. After dinner, mom and I went to the beach and took a walk. I found more beach treasures.

Our little kitties are absolutely adorable! They are pretty much litter trained and they are learning to clean themselves. Since they don't have a mommy, they don't have anyone to teach them how to clean things like their faces and tummies. They are figuring that out. Yesterday we took them to play with our neighbor's twelve-month-old twins. It was like seeing double with the two babies and five kitties. We try to spend a lot of time with them so they will be good cats for families. Two have homes. Don't you want one?

So Many Thoughts In My Head...

2007-05-23T14:21:00.000-04:00

A question before I begin this post: Have you appreciated the legs and arms of the people you love today?

I'm going to be really open and honest here, though I am not really sure why. I think I am vain enough to think that some people actually stalk me online.

It is no secret that everyone is “dealt a different hand” in the card game of life. God plans different things for each of us. I don't understand why some things happen to me and not to other people. Why do I have the life I do when others face different circumstances? Why did I get this life and not someone else's?

My boyfriend was deployed for a year. For seven months he was serving in Iraq, fighting at the front lines. Lots of men in his battalion were killed. This country needs many brave men and women to serve in different capacities. Some work on computers or cook on the bases. Others, like Aaron, kick in doors and perform raids. These men are made almost entirely vulnerable to attacks of the enemy during their operations. On the romance side of things, his sporadic phone calls were quite infrequent, poorly connected, and SHORT. I prayed fervently for him every day, and am overwhelmingly grateful for his safe return.
While he was deployed, I found myself occasionally considering the mystery of God's will that this man was for me and in danger so far away when others can spend a lifetime without dealing with anything nearly so harrowing. Now that he is home, I find myself marveling at the Divine plan with a totally different perspective. Why is it I get my love home safe and free from injury when others don't get a safe return, or any return at all?

At his homecoming, when the families lined the walkway where our Marines marched into the gymnasium, we saw men coming in on crutches, in wheelchairs, missing arms. In the crowd, I saw a man cradling an inconsolable woman. Was she just an emotional mother, aware that her healthy son battled the same terrorists these men did? Was one of these wounded men her son -- carried inside her body for nine months, raised for two decades and then sent to war? Did this woman have a son who died in Iraq and should have returned with these men? I don’t know who she was and I don’t know her story, but her tears impacted me greatly.

After Aaron's return, while I was still at school, someone gigglingly said: "I bet you are glad to have him home in one piece!" It made me want to cry. I don’t even remember who said that to me, but they certainly hadn’t seen the same scene I did at Aaron’s homecoming. Many people have used the “in one piece” phrase in conversation with me, but it is NOT funny. It isn't that I don't like having Aaron home safely. I have never been more glad about anything in my life. Referring to someone as being "in one piece" is relevant for this situation is precisely because some people don't come home in one piece. Or come home at all. And I don't think it is cute or thoughtful to reference that in the least.

I am fully, completely, absolutely thankful for Aaron's safe return. I am so proud of him. Unlike those who throw powerful words around tritely, I know what it is to be glad that someone is in one piece.

I am so glad last year is over.

Babies!

2007-05-22T23:04:00.000-04:00

Pictures will come later -- Naomi found baby kittens at our old house, and their mama wasn't around. We've been through this before with Pumpkin and Pudding (may they rest in peace).

These kittens were messy and cried for 3 hours, so we decided Mama was probably gone. There are 5 of them. Bethany and I couldn't get them to eat very well, but our Mommy is a really good mother... she got all five to nurse out of their little kitty bottle AND go to sleep. She says she doesn't like them and we "have to keep them in the garage," but... they are in the kitchen as I type and we're keeping them in Naomi's and my bathroom "just for the night."

:) I am all smiles.

Bethany (wisely) says we shouldn't name them until they are doing better and we know they are going to live. I hope they do. I like the name Lola for a kitty.

And now I am thinking about how many human children there are in the world crying, hungry, and needing a Mommy to love them. :(

EDIT: My mom wants to know if you want a kitten. Yes, you. For free.

Lack of Insight

2007-05-04T15:05:00.000-04:00

Aaron came home last weekend and it was... amazing. So good to see him, to talk and hug and be together. I stayed at his family's house and we cuddled obnoxiously, calling each other sickeningly sweet nicknames on the couch to bother his siblings who had to do their schoolwork.

I feel like I don't have much to blog about these days. I talked to Alisa about it quite a while ago. For a while I thought I didn't have anything insightful to write about... but maybe I'm maturing enough to realize that the things I blogged about were not as insightful as I originally thought. Oh well.

Spiderman 3 tonight!! Oh yeah!!

I Thought This Weekend Would Never Come!

2007-04-25T13:56:00.000-04:00

Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon!vAaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon!vAaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon! Aaron's coming home soon!

I hate deployments! I hate deployments! I hate deployments! I hate deployments! I hate deployments! I hate deployments! I hate deployments! I hate deployments!

I have to write a paper!

so. cute.

2007-04-18T18:07:00.001-04:00

More Emil-isms:
While I was pushing him on the swing: "You are pushing me so high! I am totally touching the sky!"
Before his nap today: "Can I ask you a question? If my Elephanty (a stuffed elephant) went to a, a, a construction site and the construction site was on fire and he blew his nose all over the construction site, wouldn't that be funny?"

The Value Of Life

2007-04-16T21:49:00.000-04:00

This story made me bawl. I think the way this family cherished their baby son is such a testimony to the grace of God and the way He mysteriously works all things out for the good.

My Hair.

2007-04-14T23:55:00.001-04:00

My hair is semi-curly, semi-straight. I thought. But I randomly scrunched it with some gel the other day, and it went really curly. I've done that every day since then. When I went to work on Thursday, Emil said "I do not like your hair" before he said hello. When we laid down for his nap, we talked about how you need to use encouraging words instead of saying mean things. He said my hair felt funny. I said I had to use hair gel for my hair to be curly.

He said: "But why do you put jelly in your hair?"

my car is sweet!

2007-04-09T23:14:00.000-04:00

Today I changed my liscense plate all by myself. And I put the new sticker on it.

I felt really responsible.

benedictus nomine domino

2007-04-06T10:56:00.000-04:00

It seems that I can't get away from the song "Give Me Jesus" lately. As I emerge from the fog of a year full of struggles and lessons that other people my age don't usually wrestle with, I am really comforted by this song. Yes, the words are simple and most people know it. Some people are even sick of it. But it is ministering to me right now, so let me share this testimony with you.

In the morning when I rise - when I know I have to face another day, and getting out of bed seems impossible, I've had to seek the Lord with his strength and not my own.
When I am alone - when I miss Aaron terribly and during times I'm keenly aware that those around me do not know the toll a deployment takes on the ones left behind, I've learned to yearn for Jesus and His comfort.
When I come to die - when I have those horrible moments of overwhelming distress, seeing something about American casualties or just letting my mind get out of control, tearfully begging God for Aaron's protection and safekeeping, I am learning what it is to offer your life to the Lord with open hands. With this opportunity to consider death in a way I've never done before, I have a greater understanding and less fear about death. I know that I too will die someday, and my life will end. When I reach that end, I would rather have people recognize that I loved Jesus more than any other memory they might have.
You can have all this world - Going through this year, with my love away from me in such traumatic circumstances and plenty of other things going on here, has made me realize that I really would rather have Jesus than anything else. Plenty of people say they love God more than everything else. I've certainly said it a million times myself. But now I know that I mean it.
Give me Jesus
It is not difficult to say "I trust you" when life is a bed of roses.
This is what it is to claim joy in distress because of God's overwhelming goodness.
Just give me Jesus

Cute Little Blue-Eyed Boy...

2007-03-30T13:59:00.000-04:00

A huge ray of sunshine in my life this semester has been my smily, blue-eyed 3-year-old Emil, who I babysit for 3 times a week. He's adorable, funny, and he loves me. What more could a girl ask for?

On the phone from the middle east, Aaron (another adorable, funny, blue-eyed boy who loves me) told me that they have a puppy problem: too many puppies live around their base. He said all the puppies were pretty nondescript, except for one who is so enormously fat that his belly hangs on the ground. Because Emil loves puppies, I told him the story. He thinks it is GREAT that my boyfriend is "a fighter". Even though I always say "My boyfriend, Aaron, who is fighting right now", Emil always calls him "The Soldier". Never mind the fact that it is not exactly a compliment to call a Marine "Soldier", I think this is hilarious. After hearing this story, Emil asked me a million questions like "Does The Soldier like the fat puppy?", "Why can't The Soldier bring the fat puppy home?" and "Why can't I talk to The Soldier on the phone again?"

When we played in the sandbox, Emil said his frisbee full of sand was really a TV Dinner, with raisins, chocolate chips, pepperoni and candy bars in it. Yum.

Backwards...

2007-03-23T00:15:00.000-04:00

This winter was so wild and hard and depressing and long and tiring that sometimes getting out of bed in the morning was a real accomplishment for me. Subsequently, my personal goals might seem a bit futile or lame to some of you, but they mean the world to me. I made myself a very firm and lofty goal to avoid slipping and falling on the ice. I am proud to say that so far I have not once fallen on the ice, so that goal has been met.
However, when I was in New York City earlier during my spring break (not that I would brag about that on my blog or anything...) I narrowly missed being hit by a sizable chunk of ice falling from the roof of a TALL building next the sidewalk.
I just didn't want to fall on the ice this year. I didn't know that I also had to worry about ice falling on me.

Top Ten Vacation Memories So Far...

2007-03-18T20:57:00.000-04:00

* Driving INTO a snowstorm for my Spring Break trip
* My cousin Laura losing her other front tooth
* Abby's "Pennsylvania Birthday"
* My cousins Natalie and Laura singing "We Will Rock You" all the time.
* In Sunday School this morning, the class discussed "that one time" that somebody said "something" during the service last year. The pastor solved the discussion... it was a visitor, and he said "Praise the Lord" during the sermon.
* Laserdome!
* Laura always talking about "The White Cliffs of Dover"
* Natalie's intelligent discussions about dog training
* Watching Lost late at night with my sister
* When Beth and I go to sleep, we are always cuddling in bed. We make our feet cuddle, too.

Beauty

2007-03-14T13:38:00.000-04:00

I am really enjoying this beautiful weather.

I've been living so much of my life in "countdown" mode. Considering a variety of life circumstances for me, I would definitely consider this warranted to a certain degree. However, as in all things, there is always a lesson in every day. Even though most days right now seem like just a number to be crossed off my calendar, there is always something for me to learn.

for the beauty of the earth
for the glory of the skies
for the love which from our birth
over and around us lies
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
this our hymn of grateful praise!

Rebecca

2007-03-06T18:39:00.000-05:00

My middle name, Rebecca, has been passed down through seven generations. It is given to the oldest daughter, who passes it on to her oldest daughter. I love to consider the heritage passed on to me with this name. Of course, I have only been alive long enough to know the three generations of "Rebecca" 's before me, but I think it is cool that I have a heritage like this from women who never even knew I would exist.

My great-grandma, Martha Rebecca Ruby, was the coolest lady ever. She was so cute. She lived in Idaho and had four children. We all called her "Great Ruby". She called everyone "Tittlebug". We went to see her when I was little. It was a long car ride, and I remember my mom telling us that Grandma Ruby would like us and would call us "tittlebug". My mom had talked about her so much that I was kind of scared of her, so when Grandma Ruby did meet me and call me "tittlebug" I felt really special and told my mom. Grandma Ruby raised four children with Granddad in a tiny house on a farm. After Granddad Ruby died, my uncle took care of Grandma and he lived by her for the rest of her life. She had all these little barn kitties that lived by her house. One of them was allowed to come in the house, and "Kitty" sat on Grandma's lap to keep her company. Kitty was hit by a car and Grandma was so sad that she didn't let any more cats come in the house again. If Grandma Ruby saw someone that she thought was too fat, she would say "You know, that person has certainly had too many groceries!" and conversely, a skinny cow "Just needs some groceries!". She was really cute.

My grandma, "Becca", is also really cool. She went to college and became a teacher even though she grew up in a farm town. After college she taught elementary school in Alaska at an Air Force base. Papa was the principal at a nearby school, and he proposed the first night they met. They really did get married the next summer, and have had a very adventurous life together. They have five children and are still madly in love. I have a cute picture of them kissing at their 50th Anniversary party somewhere. Grandma taught elementary school for a long time, and now she is a cool grandma who bakes, sews, and watches Wheel-Of-Fortune every night after dinner.

My mom, Katrina Rebecca, is really busy and I don't get to talk to her very often. She is involved in a lot of things with church and school, and she has been a stay-at-home mom with us three girls full-time since I was born 21 years ago. She was really brave and homeschooled me when it wasn't cool and was just barely legal. She also took good care of us children when we went to live in Trinidad for a few years. We had a gross cockroachy house with big bugs and frogs the size of a dinner plate on the steps, but she decorated the house and stenciled flowers on the wall. I have a picture emblazoned in my mind when I think of my mom in my childhood. She is wearing a denim skirt and a t-shirt -- tucked in and "floofed" at the bottom -- that said "Homeschooling: It's not just an education, it's an ADVENTURE!" She taught us all to knit.

And maybe I will be cool one day, too.

Merry Christmas To Me!

2007-02-26T00:32:00.000-05:00

I am sorry that my blog life is so lame.
I got the best Christmas present of my life 2 months late! How exciting! This picture is titled "Little Santa Aaron" on my computer.

I still want a puppy, and my little babysitting charges are just as funny as ever. I am loving being the "Mama Puppy" with the 3-year-old every day. It is so fun! Last week the little guy felt like he wasn't getting enough attention for his puppy antics and announced over the general ruckus of a large homeschool family: "The puppy that I am is a really cute puppy!" I still want a real puppy, but I think Emil will hold me over until I can get one.

Oh, Children...

2007-02-01T21:58:00.000-05:00

I love my job. This is what I do: Babysit, Teach Piano Lessons, Clean House.


		There are four children. The oldest is 7. There is only one girl. She is second-born. I teach piano lessons to the older two. I wipe dirty noses. And dirty bottoms. I read a lot of library books. I keep up with the antics of a 3-year-old who likes to think he is any and/or all of the following: A Marshal Good King Wenceslas A Good-Guy Fireman A Soldier Baby Wolf Baby Bear Baby Fox Baby Puppy *He is also potty-training. Today we read a story about Baby Jesus being born. When it said "And Mary brought forth her firstborn son and laid him in a manger", the 3-year-old said "It wasn't her 'born son', it was a baby!" Then he pointed out that the naked baby had the right anatomy. He asked if I had a baby in my tummy. I said no, because I'm not married and babies need a mommy and a daddy. Maybe the Christmas story makes that a little confusing to young children... Sometimes I have to clean the kitchen. Sometimes we drink tea. Sometimes we draw pictures. Sometimes we take the baby's socks off and tickle his feet because he is so funny when he laughs.

Snowflakes!

2007-01-27T16:24:00.000-05:00

Today I caught lots of big, fat, fluffy snowflakes in my mouth.

I Do Not Completely Lack Amibition In Life... I Promise

2007-01-22T22:35:00.000-05:00

She is not necessarily a heroine or an organizer, a globetrotter or a speech maker, a politician or a leader. But she is a woman with a willingness to have her heart broken by the things that break the heart of God.

- Dale Hanson Bourke, World Vision U.S.

Wondering what to do with all your spare change? Check out the link and help take care of children around the world who are abandoned and do not know what it is to be loved.

This One Is For Aaron....

2007-01-19T20:32:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry that you were such a deprived child and your mom wouldn't let you hatch a baby duck!

Delilah... After Dark

2007-01-10T17:15:00.000-05:00

So, my sisters and I think I should call in to the Delilah show. We think her show is really sappy, but we can relate. I cry every time a mom calls in to dedicate a show to her child who is bravely fighting a disease or every man who dedicates a song to his wife of 3 years... So, so, so, so sad! Anyway, Naomi thinks I should request "Gold digger" or "Promiscuous Girl" for the song, but I don't know... what do you think?

School Supplies!!

2007-01-07T15:15:00.000-05:00

"If I knew your address, I would send you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils!" - Joe Fox (played by Tom Hanks) in You've Got Mail

I am loving the "break" aspect of break. A lot. I'm enjoying the time for relaxation, sleep, internet surfing. My semester was so stressful, and I am making the most of this break. I am a lazy bum, and I love it. I have done nothing academic or intellectually stimulating. I'm mostly just scrapbooking, working on care packages for Aaron/trying to write lots of letters to Aaron/explaining both of those things to everyone who talks to me, packing my room, knitting, a bit of babysitting, cooking (my family is sick of coffee cakes), cuddling with my sisters, etc.

Now, I love paper. I know I'm weird. I LOVE it. The stress and distress of returning to school can be assuaged by only a few things and one of them is a visit to the office supply store. During a recent trip to Staples, I acquired:
*a new 3-ring binder (white and pink). I've never done the loose-leaf paper thing, but I want to try it. I'm going nuts with different notebooks for different classes and never having the right one with me, so I'm going to see how this works.
*a multi-colored pack of inserts with pockets
*pens (the RSVP kind with a skinny tip)
*mini milk crates. These match my regular pink milk crates and are just the right size to fit on the bathroom shelf at school!
I did not get any post-it notes because I don't really need any :( I think they are my favorite school supply.
I also have enough filler paper here at home and pencils at school to last through the semester.

I wish I was as excited about going back to school as I am about my school supplies!

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T17:10:00.000-05:00

I won't lie... I think he's pretty hot! I'm so glad he's coming home THIS YEAR!

In other news, New Years Eve was really fun. A few close friends joined my sisters and I for the night. We went in the Sauna at my Grandma and Papa's house. Mmmm.... it was incredible! We also ate yummy cheesey-onion dip and played Dance Dance Revolution.

I sleep a lot. I am starting to pack my room for good. I like break. I never want to do homework again.

rainbows...

2006-12-29T01:11:00.000-05:00

It takes experiencing a flood to appreciate the promise of a rainbow.

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Happy Christmas!

2006-12-24T11:16:00.000-05:00

Here are two very wonderful words for Christmas from some favorite composers:

"And the Glory of the Lord shall be revealed. And all flesh shall see it together. For the Lord hath spoken it." - Isaiah 40:5, from The Messiah by G.F. Handel

"Wake, arise, the voices call us
Of watchmen from the lofty tower;
Arise, thou town Jerusalem!
Midnight's hour doth give its summons;
They call to us with ringing voices;
Where are ye prudent virgins now?
Make haste, the bridegroom comes;
Rise up and take your lamps!
Alleluia!
Prepare to join the wedding feast,
Go forth to meet him as he comes!" -From J.S. Bach's Cantata 140 Wachet Auf

Do You See What I See?

2006-12-15T12:31:00.000-05:00

If this was my baby, I don't think I would give him up for someone like me.

I like the lyrics to the Christmas Carol "Do You See What I See?" that say:
Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king:
"Do you know what I know?
In your palace warm, mighty King
A child, a child Shivers in the cold
Let us bring Him silver and gold"
Said the king to the people ev'rywhere:
"Listen to what I say!
Pray for peace, people everywhere
The child, the child sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light."

I also really like these two stanzas of a Crashaw poem about the Holy Nativity:

Welcome, all wonders in one sight
Eternity shut in a span
Summer in winter, day in night.
Heaven in earth, God in man.
Great little one, whose all-embracing birth
Lifts earth to heaven, stoops heaven to earth.

To Thee meek Majesty! soft King.
Of simple graces and sweet loves
Each of us his lamb will bring
Each his pair of silver doves
Til burnt at last in fire of Thy fair eyes,
Ourselves become our own best sacrifice.

All I Want For Christmas

2006-12-09T16:37:00.000-05:00

I think this puppy wants to live with me as much as I want him. Doesn't he look like he needs someone to love him? And take care of him? And give him food? And take him for walks? And cuddle with him? And make him wear a red santa hat for the Christmas card picture?

Please, Santa?

Advent Is The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

2006-12-04T22:42:00.000-05:00

(I think the best verses of Christmas Carols are the ones we don't sing as much)

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orders all things far and nigh;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And cause us in her ways to go.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
Our spirits in one heart and mind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.

Thinking Over All The Things You've Said

2006-12-01T13:28:00.000-05:00

I feel like other people express what I want to say better than I can myself. On one hand, it is kind of cool to quote things. On the other hand it feels kind of lame to be so inadequate.

Thanksgiving break was fun, relaxing, enjoyable, and I would have liked to stay home forever and not go back to school. Blast. My cousins are very, very cute. My sisters are also cute. And we have cute friends. Yessss...

I am only taking fourteen credits next semester! I am so excited about the possibility of sleep and doing well in classes because I'll actually care!

I read an article on Boundless.org about a Christian couple who owns a landscaping business and decided not to offer their services to a homosexual couple. I'm not going to argue with the couple themselves, but I can't believe the article was promoting the behavior of this couple. I completely understand why the two men were offended, and I think this is certainly not an example of how to love people like Jesus loves us. Here is the Article. And the further explanation is on the Blog.

Aaron will be gone until spring and the time still ahead seems SO LONG right now. Please keep my love and the whole situation in the Middle East in your prayers.

Here is Spenser's 87th Sonnet from "Amoretti", a collection of little love poems he published shortly after marrying his second wife Elizabeth.

Since I did leave the presence of my love,
Many long weary days I have outworn;
And many nights, that slowly seemed to move
Their sad protract from evening until morn.
For, when as day the heaven doth adorn,
I wish that night the noyous day would end:
And, when as night hath us of light forlorn,
I wish that day would shortly re-ascend.
Thus I the time with expectation spend,
And fain my grief with changes to beguile,
That further seems his term still to extend,
And maketh every minute seem a mile.
So sorrow still doth seem to long to last;
But joyous hours do fly away too fast.

Freedom

2006-11-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation are people who want crops without ploughing the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning; they want the ocean without the roar of its many waters. The struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, or it may be both. But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand; it never has and it never will. - Fredrick Douglass

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. -George Bernard Shaw

Freedom is a hard-bought thing. - Paul Robeson

If you want peace, work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

heartbreaking...

2006-11-17T18:12:00.000-05:00

This article from Focus on the Family's www.trueu.org is really important and I fully agree with it: Don't be selfish!

"If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are just fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us." James 1:26-27

I am obviously unmarried and I'm not in a position to answer the call in caring for orphans by adopting some myself right now, but I honestly don't understand why married Christians aren't adopting children. A few people do, and a few more try, but most people have never thought about it.
I know adoption is kind of a pain in the butt because of all the CPS procedures necessary in the US and it is expensive, etc. Really, if that is the most "persecution" a Christian faces for obeying a scriptural mandate, maybe they have a glimpse of understanding about what it means to follow God in adversity.
For some people missions trips or World Vision child sponsorship is the extent of their ministry to orphans, but lets be frank: a lot of Christians have very small families of 2 or 3 children, are in a large amount of unnecessary debt because of selfish living and will never think twice about a command repeated throughout the Bible. Yes, many people can and do send $30 a month to help underprivileged children in other countries, but there are a LOT of people who fail make the lifestyle choices necessary to make adoption a feasible option because they are lazy and selfish.
With a few notable exceptions, churches aren't really talking about it. I've never heard "God wants Christians to adopt orphans, and that means you!" from a pulpit.
Are lives going to fall apart because there are lots of PB & J's for lunch instead of Lunchables? Do people need that big house in the fancy neighborhood when 143 million children in the world are going to bed tonight without parents to tuck them into bed and teach them about Jesus? Do people really care that much about what other people will think if they have children of different races?
This is not to say that I am never lazy and selfish, but I hope I am never so irresponsible as to ignore the plights of orphaned children in distress because it might impinge on my comfortable life.
That is what I want to be like when I grow up.

So Sad...

2006-11-15T19:32:00.000-05:00

I am really looking forward to snow this year. Unfortunately, it means I have to keep these little cuties under wraps for the next few months :(

Also, I baked bread with my wonderful Grandma during fall break. I brought a loaf back to school and one night I really, really wanted a slice, so I took it off the shelf and then became distracted (Oh look, the sun is shining through the trees again!). When I came to my senses, I couldn't find the bread. I guess it thinks my bed is a cozy place as much as I do...

I have NO IDEA why I set my bread nestled into the covers in such a manner. Haha.
Coming soon: cute pictures of my new bumper sticker!

Looking Forward to Luminosity

2006-11-10T00:22:00.000-05:00

"We never realize at the time what God is putting us through; we go through it more or less misunderstandingly; then we come to a luminous place and say -- Why, God has girded me, though I did not know it!" (My Utmost for His Highest, November 5)

"...God will receive more and more glory. That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4: 15b-18

If I didn't have a lifetime of experiences to remind me that God is faithful and He always keeps his promises, I might be a little skeptical right now. But I'm not.

Oh God, our help in ages past
Our hope for years to come
Our shelter from the stormy blast
And our eternal home...

The "V"-word... (voting)

2006-11-09T00:04:00.000-05:00

As I reflect on the election Tuesday, I think I've identified what my three biggest concerns are when I mark my ballot.

1. Pro-life is the most important issue. Overall, it doesn't matter what other things are going on if this issue is ignored. If people don't have a right to life, there is no purpose to anything else. Abortion kills babies. Babies have soft skin, chubby cheeks, tiny feet, cute little outfits and are intrinsically valuable because they are human. Being smaller because s/he is in utero is not enough of a reason to decide human life has not begun. Being dependent on the mom doesn't mean a pre-born baby isn't human. Babies who are born would die without someone taking care of them, too. Since no form of contraception is fool-proof, every woman "risks" the possibility of pregnancy when she makes the choice to engage in... the activities that result in conception. Some Christians criticize other Christians for being "one-issue" voters concerning the pro-life/pro-choice debate. Abortion isn't really one issue, it is every issue. A government that secures the legality of abortion has ideologically abolished both the value of life and the necessity of the individual in society.
check out: prolife.com prolifeaction.com

2. Health care. I am pro-choice when it comes to doctors and treatments. People who are really poor and really sick should probably get some help with their bills... from churches and other philanthropic charity organizations. If there was no medical help at all from the government, these other sources would step up to the plate. I am really wary of a national health care system, even at the state level, because I need the right to visit any doctor I want. Doctors who are morally opposed to abortion or prescription contraceptives or life support (or whatever) need the right to refuse these services to their patients. I doubt doctors could practice medicine within the bounds of their morality if health care slips out of privatized hands.
check out: Christian Medical and Dental Association.Other than this site (which I haven't researched much at all) I am having a difficult time finding places on the internet to point you to. Hmmm.....

3. Educational funding and restrictions. Parents have 3 main options for educating their children: public schools, private schools and homeschooling. When there are big rules about education designed by the people who run public schools, it can put private school and homeschool parents at a disadvantage. Parents are responsible for the education of their children, not the government. Some parents chose to use the avenue of government schools, but it should not mean they are giving up control of their kids. When too much money and power are given to school boards, parents have increasingly less ability to make the decisions that are right for their families. Do you remember the story about that kid from Virginia who chose not to do the rigorous treatments for his Hodgkins Lymphoma when he relapsed at 16 after battling the disease earlier? He said, basically "I'm sick, and I would rather die than go through those procedures again", and the state of Virginia tried to take away his parents' rights because they were supporting his decisions about medical treatment. That case wasn't specifically about education, but it seems that education sets the bar for everything else dealing with parental rights. If the government wasn't so used to making definitive decisions for a family and usurping parental rights like it has been doing for a long time with educational policies, the issue with the Cherrix family in Virginia wouldn't have been touched at all. Just as I'm "pro-choice" when it comes to health-care, I'm "pro-choice" about education and parental rights. Too much of a link between the main provider of education for minors and the government puts parental rights of citizens with other educational preferences or convictions at risk.
check out: a pioneer of securing parental rights in education.

There are other things I really do care about, and it would be ridiculous to think I understood everything about government at the age of 20. Especially as a Christian, I believe it is important to be very concerned about poverty and to be educated about the environment, but I think it is a mistake for the government (instead of the Church) to be overly involved (welfare, etc.) in these things. It seems to me that these three issues are key because I would rather have parental rights secured than abolish the welfare state. I hate the idea of welfare, but who cares about paying money for someone else to live off of if your own child is not really under your care anymore? I think it is important to be environmentally conscientious, but I'd rather have a little more pollution in the earth than have personal health care at the hands of beaurocrats, which is (honestly) what a national health care reform would end up being. These are just the issues I've been thinking about lately.

Ohio is a state that sucks

2006-11-05T15:04:00.000-05:00

...that was the most memorable statement of the University of Michigan / Ball State game I saw yesterday afternoon. The day started off with lots of defensive driving by Bethany and myself (alternating). The following picture is of me:

We picked up Kaela at Spring Arbor University and took her with us. We decided she should marry the Ball State player Dante "Inferno" Love so her name could be "Kaela Love". Say that three times fast.

We all snuggled up and enjoyed the game. The weather was good and U of M won 34-26, continuing their undefeated streak this season.
Then we went to the mall and I looked for a puffy vest but I couldn't find one. Blast!

Naomi and Kaela had fun :)

and to end this post: I think this picture says everything Beth is trying to say...

My Favorite Jeans...

2006-11-03T23:03:00.000-05:00

My favorite jeans are from the Gap. They have a new hole in them, in a not-TOO-scandalous place, but scandalous enough that I can't wear them out any more :(

I'm going to a football game tomorrow!

And I think I just found the missing puzzle piece of my life... but it is none of your business!!

a cute pumpkin

2006-10-30T12:35:00.000-05:00

I bought a pumpkin the other day, and I meant to carve it. I'm not very good at carving pumpkins, because the faces look a little stunted, but I think jack-o-lanterns are just too darn cute. I didn't have anyone special nearby to carve a pumpkin with this year (sad face) and I didn't get around to inviting someone to help me, so I haven't created my pumpkin into the semi-masterpiece I envisioned upon the purchase.

Basically, this pumpkin has been sitting in a plastic bag in my dorm room probably irritating my roomates to no end for days. I finally put it outside the back door so I could see it when I came in.

I live a lot of my life like that pumpkin. I have really good intentions to do cute things, but I don't do them all. If I would just be up front with myself about what I can and can't do I could enjoy everything more. Instead, I just keep my pumpkins in plastic bags from Wal-Mart and forget about them for days when I should be smiling at their cute cheerful orangeness.

Oh well.

Here are three pictures to go with this blog:

Sonnet 97

2006-10-24T10:25:00.002-04:00

How like a winter hath my absence been
From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year!
What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen!
What old December's bareness everywhere!
And yet this time removed was summer's time,
The teeming autumn, big with rich increase,
Bearing the wanton burden of the prime,
Like widow'd wombs after their lords' decease:
Yet this abundant issue seem'd to me
But hope of orphans and unfathered fruit;
For summer and his pleasures wait on thee,
And, thou away, the birds are very mute;
Or, if they sing, 'tis with so dull a cheer
That leaves look pale, dreading the winter's near.
(good old Will)

It is snowing and I'm far away from my love.
He gave me a sweet french-press coffee thermos and I left in the library last week. Blast. How can I partake of the nectar of life if I can't even make it? Life is so complex.
I voted. My ballot is in the mail box right now.
I'm so ready for fall break. Oh wait, we already had it.
Thanksgiving countdown: 30 days
Christmas countdown: 61 days
Summer: forever

Mind Your Own Beeswax

2006-10-23T11:45:00.000-04:00

I think I'm becoming a much more private person this year. I really don't care about the gossip that is going around about people -- who is dating whom, the latest drama in some situation, whatever. It is none of my business, and I really really really don't care.

Many people ask me "How are you?" but don't honestly care about the answer. I'm not pointing any fingers and I'm sure everyone can relate on this. I am not best friends with everyone and I don't expect the same of anyone else. I don't like the faux-compassion of "HiAbbyhowareyoudoing?" as a greeting from people I'm not that close to. The question bothers me because my answer is usually a hesitant "Oh... I'm OK", and then the person I hardly know says "Oh! Just 'OK'?", seeking further explanation. I don't want to lie and say "I'm doing great!", but I don't really want to explain the honest answer ("I'm a miserable wreck right now"). It is not everyone's business how I am doing every minute of the day. gosh...

I think I'm going to start saying "Hi, It is so nice to see you" instead of asking the question to other acquaintances myself. It is certainly what I'd rather hear from people if they aren't really in touch otherwise.

Maybe I'm just becoming more private. I guess if I feel like something is public information I'll blog about it. Hmmm.

today

2006-10-20T19:24:00.001-04:00

today I:

went to both of my classes
spent $50 on baking supplies at wal-mart
wished I could sleep
cried
did homework
talked to Aaron on the phone for 20 minutes
baked coffee cake with a frilly apron on
saw Talitha
saw Mr. and Mrs. Walker (Chris and Kate)
met lots of mommy's and daddy's
wore (and am still wearing) a beautiful new shirt that ties in the back. (I've been complimented for wearing a cool tie-in-the-back shirt that doesn't make the wearer look pregnant.)

(but not all in that order)

I didn't:

take a shower
take a nap
mail Aaron a letter, even though it is sealed and stamped. Blast.
do anything with my hair, really.
feel great.

(I suppose the order of these doesn't matter since I didn't do them at all)

lets talk about courtship

2006-10-16T16:53:00.000-04:00

I recently discovered a "treasure" of the modern-day homeschool community's storehouse of information regarding the only way a true Christian can go about procuring a spouse. This book, titled "The Courtship of Sarah McLean" is indeed the type of endearing, realistic tale every young woman should read as she grows into "courting" age.

Um, just kidding.

The story starts out with 19-year-old Sarah, a nice godly homeschooler (obviously not at college), who just wants to get married and have a housefull of her own children. God has given Sarah an unusual ability with cooking. She almost never forgets to add all the ingredients. A letter from fellow homeschooler, pen-pal Hannah puts Sarah into a tizzy. Hannah is in the middle of a courtship and is preparing for an April wedding. When will God supply Sarah with a husband of her own? After a tearful conversation with her mother, Sarah is encouraged and renewed.

Boy #1. A non-Christian, Tim asks Sarah out for a date at the Farmers Market where Tim sells produce and Sarah does family shopping. He is very attracted to Sarah's gentle maturity, long skirts and head coverings. Right...

Boy #2. A nice, Christian homeschooler, James seeks Sarah's hand in courtship. As Mr. McLean discusses the matter with Sarah, he says "James has a problem when it comes to children, Sarah. He says he likes children, but then he says that he doesn't want too many children. James said that he didn't feel it was necessary to have lots of kids in order to have a good marriage. He also said that he often gets irritated, even angry, when he has to watch small children for any length of time because of their childish ways. He was quick to add that he thought his views on children would change just as soon as he had some of his own... he is just not fond of children. It is possible that he can change in that area, although I must admit that it would take a mighty work of the Holy Spirit..." He's pretty much shot down, if you couldn't tell.

Boy #3. Another nice, Christian homeschool boy has an apprenticeship with a family near the McLean homestead. Their families knew each other way back and they are all anti-birth control. When Luke's family helps him move himself and "his few earthly possessions", they stay with Sarah's family. As they enter into courtship, Sarah is pretty much sold on the fellow when she hears his opinions about becoming a church elder. Luke is not deterred when Sarah admits she struggles to trust the Lord in all areas and even acknowledges she might have a similar problem in trusting her husband. Luke proposes underneath an apple tree that the children like to play around. Needless to say, the two youngsters sought God, considered parental involvement a blessing instead of a hindrance and probably waited to kiss each other until they reach their first wedding anniversary, but only briefly and at home with parents and a whole host of siblings in the next room.

I am kind of kidding about the kissing thing. My assumptions about it were probably an unreasonable extrapolation of the other information in the book. They never mention any type of physical contact at all. They probably don't approve of any sort of affection at all. Ever.

Epilogue: Sarah is holding her own "sweet and tiny and new" son.

The moral of the story? The only person worth marrying comes from a healthy family and has been a Christian their whole life. There isn't much more to marriage than church leadership and having lots of children anyway.

recipes I like

2006-10-12T20:37:00.001-04:00

"abby's guy-grabbing guacamole"
you all have to try this stuff.

3 ripe (firm, but relents to mild pressure) avacados.
1 tablespoon Olive Oil
1 tablespoon Salt
2 stalks of chopped up baby green onions. I just go until they are too green to cut through.
1 teaspoon chopped garlic clove. Or 1 1/2 teaspoon of the pre-chopped kind in oil.
a small tomato cut up really small

mix it all up. enjoy with tortilla chips or quesadillas.

"cinnamon cardamom struesel coffee cake"
it really does taste amazing with coffee. yum.

for the struesel:

3/4 teaspoon cardamom
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup packed light-brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 sticks unsalted sweet cream butter, softened

for the cake:
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
1 1/4 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 1/4 low-fat plain yoghurt
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract (or the fake kind if you are cheap like me)1. Prepare the streusel; Whisk flour, brown sugar, 3/4 teaspoon ground cardamom, and the salt in a medium bowl. Cut in butter with a pastry blender until mixture resembles coarse crumbs; set aside.

2.Coat a 10-inch nonstick angel-food-cake pan with cooking spray; set aside.

3.Prepare the cake; Sift flour, baking powder, baking soda, 3/4 teaspoon ground cardamom, the cinnamon, and salt into a medium bowl. Put butter and sugar into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment; mix on medium-high speed until pale and fluffy. Reduce speed to medium. Mix in eggs, 1 at a time. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture in 2 batches, alternating with the yogurt. Mix in vanilla.

4. Spoon half of the batter into prepared pan. Sprinkle with 2 1/2 cups streusel. Top with remaining batter. Squeeze remaining streusel into large and small clumps; sprinkle on top of batter. Bake until golden brown and a cake tester inserted into center comes out clean, 50 to 60 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack; let cool 10 to 15 minutes. Remove cake from pan by slightly raising removable center piece; invert onto baking sheet, and then reinvert onto wire rack to cool completely.

You HAVE to eat this with coffee :)

I plan to make both of these on fall break!!

light switch = up

2006-10-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

my calling in life
I could be PAID to wave scarves around with children and sucker their parents into giving me money... by "sucker their parents", I mean to bestow unto parents the ability to unlock the musician within their child.

Although the light switch for my life plan has turned on, it has not been so gracious as to transfer to my Music History "Background Research" Paper. I'm double-spacing my footnotes, per a recommendation from an Honors student, and will soon add the "last name - page #" stuff on the top, which will also require less text to cover the four pages. I suppose this is the problem with trying to write a four page "Background Research" paper when one hasn't exactly researched anything. By "one", I am of course, referring to myself.

hanging by a thread

2006-10-06T11:11:00.000-04:00

There's a kind of emptiness that can fill you.
There's a kind of hunger that can eat you up.
There's a cold and darker side of the moonlight.
An' there's a lonely side of love.

With you here, baby, I am strong; no sign of weakness.
With you gone, baby, I am hanging by a thread.

There's a certain kind of pain that can numb you.
There's a type of freedom that can tie you down.
Sometimes the unexplained can define you,
And sometimes, silence is the only sound.
-Hanging by a Thread, Nickel Creek

The time will come when all the earth will be filled, as waters fill the sea, with an awareness of the glory of the Lord.
-Habakkuk 2:14

They started building the Notre Dame cathedral in 1163 and finished it much later.
- The first sentence of one of my essays for Music History.

pictures are interesting!

2006-10-05T16:20:00.001-04:00

My sisters are too freaking cute! I love them!

I love Colossians, too.

pressing on

2006-09-24T16:33:00.000-04:00

I think I'm officially switching. Bye-bye, blog of 2+ years... This new one will be really cool, I promise! I'm going to figure out how to include links on this blog to things I think are cool - such as french press coffee makers and other sweet blogs I like to read. Sound good?

2006-03-15T12:58:00.000-05:00

Romans 1:20 (NAS) For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.

Isaiah 45:12 (NAS) "It is I who made the earth, and created man upon it. I stretched out the heavens with My hands And I ordained all their host."

I really think I'd learn so much more in Biology if we didn't talk about evolution all the freaking time. I mean, micro-evolution makes so much sense, because it is just the process of genetic diversity over time. All the evidence we're hearing about is arguing for micro-evolution. But extrapolating to macro-evolution? Punctuated Equilibrium? Give me a break! It sounds completely ridiculous to me. Who thinks these things up!? I'm pretty sick of hearing about it.

I find myself writing mini essays in the margins of my notebook because I feel so... oppressed, I guess. What frustrates me is the discussions trying to explain the place of the theory of evolution in a supposedly "Christian" worldview.
Dr. Hayes said that evolutionary biology is "one way to look at the world, metaphysically. Creation is the way to look at things religiously." But as a Christian, there is only one way to look at everything. Who decides what things to consider in a religious context and what ones scientifically? If you think you can make your own decisions about that, you're accountable to nothing. This institutes self as the ultimate authority. Even in areas where a person chooses to accept the authority of God, if it isn't universally applied to their life they are still controlling what God has control over in their life. Either God is God (and therefore sovereign) or he is not. Even partial autonomy is manifestation of pride and is incompatible with a submitted life. Where in the Bible do we see a precedent for switching worldviews for different topics? More importantly for that class, why does Evolution matter in Physics? We were just talking about the difference in acceleration and speed, and watts and gravity and magnetism!

One time Dr. Houghton (like many other faculty in the Science departments) said "Science is not about ethics, morality, or any religious beliefs or ideas. The idea of God is outside the realm of Science." He said God was outside the realm of Science. I'm glad nothing (even science) is outside the realm of God.

2006-03-10T12:38:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I just really wish there was a college degree in socialization. I would do really well with that. You know? I just want to be friends with everybody.

I've been thinking about scrapbooking today. Over spring break I'm going to go home and cover my grandma's house with scrapbooking stuff. It is going to ROCK!

I think I want to include a picture with every post. Starting with the people most important to me :)

This is my beautiful middle sister. She's taller than me. We love the beach. A LOT.

this is my beautiful baby sister. we both look kind of gross in the picture, but I really like it anyway. This was a year ago. I'm having a hard time believing that. Life goes so quickly.

2006-03-09T11:51:00.000-05:00

Why this place to write out my thoughts??

for the more "academic" reasonings I want to blog. I think. Maybe I'm starting to think this is cooler than my old one??